End Times and Basic Chemistry

I was uncertain as to whether or not I actually wanted to post this blog entry, but then I realized that maybe it could give insight into the way I think (like you really cared).  Those of you on the same wavelength will understand, and for those who don't, I suppose I apologize.


Entropy is the tendency to move towards chaos, the gradual decline into disorder.  The second law of thermodynamics states (very simplified) that the total entropy of the universe is constantly increasing.

Would you like to take a look around you for a second, read the news, check out some technology?  I'll wait.

Alright, my belief is that the universe is made of an infinitely complex pattern of circles and spirals.  Yin and yang, spiraling together, cyclicality creating life and destroying it.  Everything that is happening has happened before but with different situations, time periods, and people (and perhaps also in the way that many physicists and philosophers have speculated, why not?).  The phrase "history repeats itself" is not foreign to any of us.

While I do realize I'm fixing to reference a song lyric, I regard the band who wrote the lyrics as incredibly intellectual, or at least in tune to this wavelength.  From the TOOL song, Lateralus: "Ride the spiral to the end, we may just go where no one's been.  Spiral out, keep going."  We each ride not only the spiral of each of our lives (and others), of the world and each component in it, of our galaxy and each component in that, but also of the universe as we know it in its entirety.  We all hope that this time it will be different in our own life, that there will be something else at the end, that we might do something those before us haven't done, but at the basic level nothing is new.  Yet we still tend to ride it to the "end," hoping we'll go we're no one's been because no one has been to the end before to tell us about it!

But the main part of this lyric that catches my attention is the latter half.  Spiral out.  Out toward supposed entropy.

If we draw a perfect spiral on a sheet of paper, it's not going to be long before we need another couple of sheets to continue drawing the spiral, and exponentially more as it gets even larger.  It would be hard to find the center of this spiral even though you're traveling it as you draw it larger and larger, even hard to find the lines next to the one you're currently following.  There would be so many sheets of paper that you would probably forget you were drawing a spiral and start feeling disoriented.  Entropy, but false entropy created by a complexity (that is actually pretty simple, just too large to see it, and this is key).

To feel this sense of entropy, of losing yourself, find a swing, close your eyes, and try to stay perfectly straight without holding onto the ropes (no feet on the ground).  After wiggling back and forth for a little bit, you'll eventually feel like you're taking a nose dive, but should find that when you open your eyes you haven't moved.

To bring it full circle (haha), most religions have an idea of an increased worsening over time, often with the final era being the time before all is redeemed and returned to the original pristine state (though not always, sometimes it's just the end).  In generalized Hinduism, the time of the universe is divided into four ages ("yuga"): Satyayuga ("Truth Age"), Tretayuga, Dvaparayuga, and Kaliyuga ("Dark Age").  Time began in perfect harmony with the world and deities, and slowly over time people began to slip away and become more immoral.  We are currently believed to be in Kaliyuga, the darkest age and the farthest away from the gods before time begins again with Satyayuga.  We have come from the center, complete harmony, and spiraled, out of control, into entropic darkness.  Yet it was known all along that this would happen in just this way, right?  Go ahead and compare it to something you might be more familiar with, like Christianity.  The Garden of Eden --> Fall of Man --> worsening and worsening problem over time (again and again, I might add, though by our standards it has gotten worse each time the cycle "repeats") --> end of days!


Anyway, I could ramble forever.  I already tried to edit this and just ended up adding more, so I'm going to stop.  Let's save string theory for another day.  :)  But now maybe you understand how my mind makes connections during chemistry class, even if it doesn't make complete sense to you, haha.  So the next time I jump to something crazy, just flow with me.


P.S.: While I was writing this, I downloaded an album.  In the file folder there was an executable UNIX file titled "entropy."  As far as I can tell, the title had nothing to do with the album.

"This is Unclear"

I am apparently an ambiguous person when it comes to stating what I'm thinking. For some reason, it's very hard for me to convey my thoughts correctly, or in a way that will make others understand them. I can't tell you the number of times I've received the paper critique comment "this part is unclear." It's my biggest downfall when writing pretty much anything. I've probably already done it with this blog.

It's ironic now to think that I've been so skeptical of every little theory that comes down the pipe, but I expect my ridiculous thoughts to be taken on my twisted logic alone without any sort of academic/tangible evidence to back them up. I'm such a hypocrite, haha!

Oh well, I'm not going to quell my imagination, it's far too much fun to believe that you've come up with the theory for everything on any given day. But I guess I should invest more in others' imaginations. I'm way too critical.

And I should seriously stop rambling and start trying to make sense (although David Byrne would never agree)! The next time I have a fantastic idea about how Osiris represents the dead pharaoh and Ré represents the new pharaoh based on anthropological theories, I should probably stop and take a breath.

The One

Everyone is always asking how they will know when they've found the "right" person. Generally, the answer has to do with a vague, "You'll just know!," but what if there is a certain pattern underlying this attachment? I've heard all sorts of biological and sociological theories that sound quite convincing and logical, and I do believe a lot of them. But that's still not necessarily my style, I like dreaming in whimsical hypotheses. :)

Last night Jordan and I were standing out on the porch discussing my upcoming painting projects. I suddenly realized the key to "knowing."

I was bouncing my favorite ideas (the one I'm definitely going to pursue this time around) off of him, and while he liked it, he also gave me the most amazing concept to try after this next study. I don't know if I can convey what this suggestion could do for me if executed correctly. It was such a beautiful visualization and air of understanding that I felt like crying a little, haha.

I finally appreciated that the reason I got onto this theme at all is due to Jordan. His independent interests piqued my own, and helped to bring out what was aching to be expressed right beneath the surface. If it were not for him, chances are that I would be trying to paint something incredibly cheesy. Not that I am totally reliant on him (or vice versa), but he has helped me to grow into the person I've always wanted to be, and I have done the same for him.

I'm not quite sure how to sum it up tightly. Insightful mutual guidance? Imagine the plots played out on film where there is a path or labyrinth meant for two people, and these two have something the other needs to complete the journey otherwise it's far more difficult and less fulfilling (possibly even disastrous). The essential essence the other brings to the situation doesn't even have to be something spoken or tangible, but it's still necessary to those circumstances. Yin and yang, working parts of the same whole.

I know that I am at least not alone in this vein. I have heard painters say that they have never created a painting without help and advice from their partner. I have heard folkloric tales about a great answer coming after getting simple counsel from a spouse. Big decisions in careers are talked over with significant others.

To put it even more simply, the one you are with should make you a better person just by being around.